Love Addiction

Too often people struggling with love addiction have no idea that it’s more than just a “difficult relationship” or a “bad breakup” . Especially since live in a society that glorifies love and fantasy and the idea of being “saved” by “the one”. But unfortunately that keeps us stuck and even if we can make it out of one love addicted relationship, if unaddressed, we will continue to repeat this pattern.
Finding the language to describe what we are experiencing can provide relief. It can show us that we are not alone, that other people struggle with this, too, and that there is a way to heal.
You’re in a romantic relationship and you can’t stop obsessing about your partner. The relationship feels like an emotional roller-coaster of highs and lows. Your partner can be emotionally inconsistent or unavailable and you keep finding yourself hurt, anxious, lonely, and in pain. The idea of not being with your partner or in a relationship feels really scary and unsettling. Maybe you’ve tried to leave but feel you just can’t stay away from each other. The cycle keeps repeating itself.

Or perhaps romantic or sexual attention and validation makes you feel really good, wanted, lovable. Perhaps you need it so badly that you seek this romantic and sexual attention and validation outside of your monogamous relationship. Or maybe you’re not in a relationship at all but you obsess over the idea of being in love. You fantasize and spend an excessive amount of time and energy trying to find Mr. Right.

In the words of Kelly McDaniel, “ if your relationships regularly have draining patterns of highs and lows, intense episodes of anger and withdrawal, leave you tired and angry, and each attempt you make to find romantic connection provides more painful, you may be facing addiction to love and sex”.

Characteristics of Love Addiction

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Obsessive and compulsive thinking about romantic love and relationships.
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Intense emotional and physical cravings for attention, approval and affection from their partner.
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Staying in unhealthy or “toxic” relationships (trauma bonds)
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Excessively seeking out romantic partners
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Experiencing withdrawal when ending a relationship
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Idealizing your partner
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A fear of being abandoned
take the first step toward healing and healthy connection

How Can Therapy Help?

We trust that when gently explored, the love addiction will bring us right to the original woundings that need to be addressed. We view love as a solution to pain and trauma, often attachment trauma, which most likely began in childhood.

We work with you on exploring, identifying and creating a plan for recovery so you can gain some healthy control over your life, feelings and behaviors. We help you learn healthy ways of coping with your triggers and difficult feelings so you can continue breaking free from addictive relationships and feel better.

Therapy offers the space for you to feel seen, heard, accepted and lovingly supported to break patterns that have been causing you pain and keeping you stuck.

How Therapy Can Help

Love addiction therapy can help you:
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Identify and shift unhealthy relationship patterns, some that may be a repetition of our family of origin woundings.
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Work through attachment trauma that is often at the root of love addiction tendencies
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Learn what healthy love, dating and relationships looks like and feels like
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Build a healthy and loving secure attachment with yourself
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Increase healthy self-esteem and self-worth
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Set healthy boundaries
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Learn how to soothe yourself in healthy ways
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Foster the practice of a secure attachment with others
We work through the internal barriers and unresolved traumas to help you move towards healthier and more mutually fulfilling relationships, with others as well as with yourself.
Take the first step