Complex Trauma

We’ve all heard of PTSD. And when we think of it, most of us imagine a big event, like a car accident or war. We often gloss over the thought that maybe we have trauma, too, because it doesn’t look like what we see in the movies or media. We are shown over and over again that it’s only big events in our life result in trauma, which isn’t true. What makes something traumatic is actually not the event itself, but how respond to it. If we are able to do something about the event and have support, a traumatic event may not result in negative trauma symptoms.
Trauma is anything that overwhelms our ability to cope.
It can be small events or big events that leave us feeling helpless and alone. Therapy can be useful at any time in your life to give you the support and the ability to work through what has happened to you in the past. There are specific types of therapy that target trauma and how it gets stuck in our bodies so we no longer have to live as though the past is repeating itself. Recent research has started to generate a lot of talk around something called complex trauma. This is what happens when abandonment, neglect or abuse happens in childhood. Keep in mind, the abuse, trauma and abandonment is not always obvious and at times, may even be really hard to identify. Sometimes the trauma is also what didn’t happen or what we didn’t get (like feeling loved for who we are, supported, seen, heard, etc.). What is obvious are the symptoms that keep you from living the life you really want to live.

So what is complex trauma? Complex trauma happens repeatedly over time and usually in the context of relationships in our childhood.

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How complex trauma shows up…

You often feel anxious, as if something bad is going to happen. Or maybe you feel depressed and shut down emotionally.

You have a tendency to live and feel in the extremes, often going from zero to 10. There are times you feel small, scared, helpless and overwhelmed.

You may try to avoid your feelings, out of fear that if you felt them you’d lose control.

It’s easy to get comfortable in the chaos, and believe it is normal. You may feel uncomfortable or bored when things are balanced and calm. You anxiously wait for the next shoe to drop.

You beat yourself up when you make a mistake.

You may believe that there is something inherently wrong with you.

You don’t let people get truly close to you, fearing that if people really knew you, they would leave you. This leaves you feeling lonely, even in your relationships.

You may find yourself in relationships that are unpredictable and feel like you are on an emotional rollercoaster. You may find stable people boring and unattractive. You may feel frustrated that the same thing keeps happening in every new relationship you’re in. You may feel really anxious when there’s separation in your relationship or perhaps you start to pull away when the relationship deepens.

You may believe that people are unreliable and untrustworthy, you may struggle with trusting others. You may over-function in relationships and keep people at an arms length. You despise asking for help.

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You are not alone. It is possible to work through your traumas so you can live a more present, joyful and peaceful life with healthy relationships.
So often people get confused as to why they aren’t happy, why they can’t have the relationships they are really craving, they don’t have the information that a better life is possible. They don’t even know that they can heal because they don’t know that there is a problem. They just know that they are struggling.

Complex Trauma Symptoms

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Difficulties managing your emotions and moods
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Difficulties trusting others
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Feeling broken, “bad” or unworthy
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Struggling in relationships
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Anxiety or hypervigilance -being or “on guard” for threats or something bad happening
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Depression or feeling dissociated, numb or disconnected from yourself, the moment and others

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy for complex trauma can help you:

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Regulate your emotions and moods

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Build a healthier, more loving relationship with yourself
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Maintain healthy and mutually fulfilling relationships
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Feel better about yourself and improve your self-esteem
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Set healthier boundaries
When working on resolving complex trauma, our first priority is supporting you in developing mind-body tools to self-regulate and self-soothe. We use a variety of therapy modalities that are specifically for the resolution of trauma that help you actually release the traumatic energy and memories from your body and brain, such as EMDR, hypnotherapy (rapid resolution therapy), somatic therapies, parts work, and inner-child and reparenting work (Post induction therapy).
We will walk alongside you as you take the steps towards setting yourself from free anxiety, depression, difficulties in relationships and sleep issues.
Take the first step