This weekend I took a short trip with friends and as we were pulling up to a beautiful Florida springs I was thinking “this is recovery”.
When we stop using things outside of ourselves to make ourselves feel safe and whole, we can discover our true selves. We discover our interests, passions & hobbies we never knew loved.
We discover true, genuine friendships based on connection rather than drama, chaos, drugs & alcohol, or other forms of unhealthy intensity.
We discover that deep sober laugh that flows through your entire body.
We discover joy.
We also discover pain. But the kind of pain where we know we can tolerate it, that we are okay, even when it hurts. And wow, what an empowering experience that is. This becomes the new way.
This weekend we kayaked in a crystal clear river, under the sunshine and canopy trees. We swam and tubed, and saw birds, otters, fish and baby deer. We, a group of adults, sang and danced to Moana.
And I thought dang, my inner child is really happy right now.
It wasn’t always this way. She used to be angry and fearful and thought that her feelings would kill her. My teenager used alcohol, codependent relationships and an eating disorder to soothe herself and to get by. She was the “lost child”, praised for not making waves. She learned to take care of the people around her, believing that if they were okay then maybe she would be, too.
My inner child is happy right now. She is laying out by the lake, listening to it’s sweet sounds. She feels safe, knowing that I have her back and that I will protect her.
It’s never too late to decide to make the decision to do the work, to heal.
It’s never too late to identify the ways you’ve learned to survive, to invite them to step aside, and to live from the authentic Self.
“It’s never too late for a happy childhood” – Tom Robbins