Sex Addiction
You can break that cycle. You are not alone and your sexual behaviors don’t have to rule your life anymore.
Your sexual behaviors have caused negative consequences in your life. You’ve fought the urges, tried to stop on your own, and broken many promises to yourself and the people who love you.
Each attempt to stop on your own has you feeling more frustrated, depressed, shameful and isolated than the last.
Perhaps you’ve hid your sexual behaviors from others, or have a really hard time facing them yourself. Or maybe you question whether your sexual behaviors are a problem because they are causing issues in your relationship.
“Contrary to enjoying sex as a self-affirming source of physical pleasure, the sex addict has learned to rely on sex for comfort from pain, nurturing, or relief from stress, etc., the way an alcoholic relies on alcohol, or a drug addict on drugs.”
– Dr. Patrick Carnes.
If you are struggling with sex addiction or compulsive sexual behaviors, you may:
Obsessively think about sex or sexual fantasies.
Spend excessive amounts of time on seeking, planning and engaging in sexual experiences.
Have made multiple attempts to stop or stay stopped without success.
Sex addiction or compulsive sexual behaviors may include seeking out multiple sexual partners, anonymous encounters, cybersex, and compulsive masturbation and pornography use. These behaviors are often an escape into fantasy, followed by feelings of guilt, shame and depression. People who struggle with compulsive pornography may experience difficulties with sexual dysfunction, sexual arousal, and feel disinterested in having sex with their partner without the presence of pornography.
*please note that these behaviors in and of themselves do not indicate an addiction.
The flip side of the coin is sexual anorexia.
Sexual anorexia is a term to describe when someone has a fear, aversion or avoidance of sexual behaviors and thoughts. It shows up as a lack of interest, refusal or avoidance and an inability to be sexual in healthy way. Often there may be shame and other difficult emotions and beliefs about sex and sexuality. People who struggle with sexual anorexia may engage in sexual behaviors or fantasies in isolation and in private, followed by feelings of shame and depression. It’s also common for people who struggle with sexual anorexia to experience periods of sexual restriction followed by sexual binging.
How can therapy help?
Therapy offers the space for you to get honest with yourself and another person without any judgment. Trust me, we’ve heard it all. We view sex addiction not as a moral failure, but as an addiction, a solution to pain and trauma, which most likely began in childhood. We work with you on exploring, identifying and creating a plan for recovery so you can gain some healthy control over your life and behaviors. We help you learn healthy ways of coping with your triggers and difficult feelings so you no longer have to be reliant on the old behaviors that have caused you immense pain and shame. We support you in working through the unresolved trauma and intimacy issues, which are often at the root of sex addiction.
There is freedom, peace and connection waiting for you, including meaningful relationships and a fulfilling and healthy sexuality plan according to your values and preferences.