Codependency
What life with codependency feels like…
You struggle with feeling unworthy, insecure and unlovable at times. You may even feel like you need to be perfect or perform in order to be loved.
You compare yourself to others and either feel less than them or better than. You beat yourself up. How you feel about yourself constantly changes depending upon external circumstances. You get your worth from attention and validation from others, how perfect you look, or your accomplishments. And when you make a mistake, all bets are off, the voice in your head reminds you of how bad you are. And maybe that voice picks on others, too.
You avoid getting close to people and keep them at an arm’s length. Or maybe you allow people in too quickly, without taking time to build trust, only to find yourself burned, again.
You have trouble saying “no”. In fact, sometimes just the idea of saying “no” makes you panic. So you people please, over-extend yourself and put yourself last, only to feel exhausted and resentful. Your fear of speaking up for yourself allows people to do and say things that cause harm.
Sometimes you feel like you don’t know who you are. Perhaps you “shape shift”, or people please, becoming the version of yourself you think others want you to be. You struggle to know what you’re feeling and find yourself double checking if your own thoughts are true. Or perhaps you do know your “reality” but fear that you’ll be shut down for sharing it.
So taking care of yourself isn’t much of a thing, but you are always there for others.
You describe yourself as “extreme”. All or nothing. Black and white. You either feel nothing or feel everything all at once. You can go from 1-100 and quick. You either express yourself with intensity or shut down.
Symptoms of Codependency
Care-taking others