The brains of girls are particularly wired for connection. They are especially sensitive to the cues for whether she is safe, lovable and worthy. She is constantly making meaning about herself and her lovability and worthiness from the way her mother treats her, the tone in her mother’s voice, the look on her face, and the physical touch.
She is learning about how relationships and the world, and whether they are safe. In the absence of a healthy enough loving mother, the child will feel anxious, alone, lost, fearful, and unsafe.
The repeated absence of an emotionally available mother triggers her brain for “fight or flight”, a flood of stress hormones protect her, negatively interfering with the other “happier” hormones like dopamine and serotonin, the hormones necessary for healthy bonding.
This is what we call attachment trauma and an attachment wounding, which if unhealed, can evolve into anxious attachment tendencies and addictions, especially love addiction, and self-esteem issues.
Inner child work and re-parenting can be a powerful tool in healing our attachment wounds, which is the core wounding of the love addict and many other “disorders” ( this is put in quotes because I more so recognize these things as adaptations, learned for our survival). Reach out today for more information on inner-child work, re-parenting and healing from love addiction and codependency.